The music of the pack is it’s
CRY!
September 2003

 

The majority has the might – more’s the pity

- but it hasn’t right

The minority is always right

 

Henrik Ibsen - An Enemy of the People

 

Q

uite where spring and summer have gone I am at a loss to explain, but gone they have and along comes the Harvest Moon, cold damp dewy mornings cubbing, wonderful blackberries, sloes and something I never knew we had until a friend pointed them out the other day – bullaces. So if anyone wants some or can tell me what to do with them come and get ‘em.

 

We’ve never had a better year for swallows and house martins and in spite of the seemingly endless sunshine grass and crops have flourished – some recompense for the last three years. More and more badgers seem to be ‘roadkill victims’ yet I can’t remember when I last saw a hedgehog. Discuss – citing the fact that the RSPB have now discovered why the kestrel population in the Keilder Forest has declined so dramatically - they are being eaten by Goshawks.

 

Over the last few years the Hunt Supporters Club has not been able to be as generous to the Hunt as it would have liked to have been. This was firstly because, owing to so many rides being cancelled by bad weather, funds were not as forthcoming as in the past. And secondly, of course, we have had to help fund the endless struggle to save our sport.

 

However I am delighted to be able to report that you, as Hunt Supporters, have now been able to provide the Hunt with an ATV and Trailer. This will be a tremendous boon and, during the winter will probably be used almost every day, either by Paul for his earthstopping and hunting or for fence repair, jump and bridge building, cover laying and other conservation work.

 

On the Political front your response to writing to the House of Lords has been magnificent and it makes a huge amount of difference. Whilst the debate has already taken place, the real action and – more crucially the vote – is set for October. A hopefully vaguely understandable explanation of what may then happen appears later on in Cry.

 

In its typically weasely way the Government have still not declared whether or not they will invoke the Parliament Act and their statements in the House of Lords promised nothing, although with the by-election in mind and Brent East not exactly renowned for its fox hunting opportunities the spin and emphasis was to suggest that this will be our last season – do not believe it as there are more hoops to be jumped through than they imagine and the hastily cobbled together ‘total ban’ Bill will have to be completely re-drafted if it is to have any chance at all of becoming law.

 

A very simple example illustrating this occurred at four thirty this morning outside my bedroom window. A vixen called for her cubs who were obviously hunting along the stream in the Mound field. Total uproar – all the dogs wake up, shoot out of the cat flap and a merry little hunt ensues. Oooerr – no doubt my name is already on Big Brother’s database and if the satellite has spotted that…… Oh and we mustn’t worry about the hounds – factory farming rural affairs Minister Lord Whitty said that some might be saved by retraining for farm work. Woof Woof to that, Lord Whitty, woof woof.

 

Here a plea for help. The secret of our success so far has been communication and we are forever trying to update our records, which with the introduction of e-mail and mobile phones have become quicker than ever. Tessa Clark has very kindly agreed to take on this awesome task but the simplest way of ensuring your details are on the hunt database is to inform her yourself – you will see her details at the top of page 3 (that’s to say her address details) so please take a minute or two to tell her by any of the various methods of communication now available if you have a new address, mobile number or e-mail details.

 

FROM YOUR CHAIRMAN

 

As the lovely long Summer finally draws to a close I must remind you of  a day which some enjoyed in June. The Inter Hunt Sports Sunday is held annually and alternatively between the Cheshire Hunt and ourselves. Usually tennis, croquet and bowling matches are played out with great spirit and a certain amount of talent! This year due to so many commitments and muddles only the bowls competition took place – and we won. Next year it will be our turn to host this exciting and fun filled day so if anyone would like to be considered for any team I will be pleased to hear from you – it’s normally held on the second or third Sunday in June.

 

It was with great pleasure that David Higham and I on behalf of the Hunt Supporters Club were able to fulfil a special request and present Paul with a Quad Bike and Trailer. Lately we have had to support so much on the political front in addition to fewer fund raising activities being possible owing to the weather and foot and mouth so it was wonderful that, thanks to your generosity, we were able to provide the Hunt with such a useful vehicle. Paul will be able to get about the country throughout the year to pursue his work and in addition the ATV will be extremely useful for fence repair and conservation work. What struck me when we were handing the bike and trailer load of happy noisy children over at the wonderful midnight steeplechase and raft race at Pickhill was that we were doing all this political fighting for them and their future sport.

 

We are hoping to have our three rides in the Autumn. Please note that the venue for Area I has been changed to Bryn-y-Pys so make a note of that and the other dates. Especial thanks must go to Annie Jones for all the extra work that she has had to put in  owing to this unavoidable change and to Tim Rosselli and the estate tenants for letting us relocate to Bryn-y-Pys.

 

Richard Pitman will be our Guest Speaker on Friday 21st November at our Annual Dinner at Bangor Race Course. I am sure that this will be a great fun evening so please try to be there.

 

Finally I would like to thank all the area chairmen, secretaries and committees for their continuing support and hard work – if everyone does a big bit then the Hunt gets a bigger lot!

 

Happy Hunting and Thank You

 

AREA I (Wrexham)

 

As you will see from the Who’s Who in the Hunt Supporters List we now have a new Secretary, Deborah Paul. Welcome Deborah but also a million thanks to Linda who has so efficiently carried out the duties of Secretary for more years than she or I would like to remember.

 

After many years of stalwart service Denise Alderson and Sheila Plevin have stood down from the Committee - our thanks go out to them for all their help and support and welcome Jo and Catherine who have volunteered to replace them, no doubt little knowing what is in store for them.

 

The Bryn y Pys Show made a small profit, partly as a result of slightly lower entries but mainly because, owing to his retirement, we had to hire the show jumps rather than relying on Gerald Williams’ generosity in supplying them free, which goes to demonstrate just how much Gerald has contributed to the Show over so many years.

 

We now have not one new Cross Country Ride but two! Because of parking difficulties we decided to re-locate the ride to the Sutton Green Area and spent a lot of time and energy organizing a new route. Unfortunately all our well laid plans fell apart owing to a possible TB case and so we have had to re-locate to Bryn-y-Pys but rest assured that the ride will still be a cracker for both thruster and hacker!

 

AREA II (Whitchurch)

 

We had our hog roast on June 27th which was very well supported by nearly two hundred people of all ages. The dog agility was a huge success again. A big thank you to Sharon and Timothy Lea for providing seriously delicious home made ice cream and thank you to everybody else for their help and support.

 

We are holding our quiz evening again at Welshampton village hall on Thursday November 27th. Mudguard has kindly agreed to try and befuddle everybody with his clever questions – so please try and get up a team for what is a very jolly evening.

 

Charlie Barnett’s XC ride is on the 12th October - don’t miss it!!!

 

I think I said last time that Mary and Brian Probin are kindly organizing the Farmer’s Hunt Ball again on 6th February 2004 so put it in your diary.

 

A few of us went to play rounders against The South Shropshire in August, it was GREAT fun, even if we were not hugely successful. Andy Vernon was on top form bowling in style with a drink in one hand and a fag in the other.

 

AREA III (Malpas)

 

Area III started to keep itself occupied this year by having a fun skittles night and the AGM at the Bickerton Poacher where we were warmly welcomed by Jonathan and Sally Chantler. Our previous Chairman took great delight in handing her reins over to Henry Tomlinson but promised to be around to keep her eye on things for a while.  We cannot thank Sue and the unflappable John enough for all their hard work and hospitality over the last few years. We had a good turnout of teams both young and decrepid with the victors being the Prince Phillip Parents who kindly re donated their £25 prize and the booby prize going to the Prince Phillip Team proper - does that signify something!  We hope to have another skittles night in the autumn and another in the spring with the AGM again, so if you fancy a fun packed stressful night please come and support us. 

 

The Donkey Derby was a grand success in its new venue of The Hollies Farm where all of the Dodd family kindly allowed us to pitch our tents.  We were able to make a donation of £500 to the Malpas First Response Fund which is also our chosen charity for part of the proceeds of our Donation Ride this year as it is such a worthwhile cause for this locality.  The Ride will start from Bill Probin's in the Mastiff Lane, Malpas so Henry and David will be playing around with a brand new course this time.  Please come early as last year we were still waiting for two young girls who were eventually fielded by the Raynet helpers complete with headlights flashing in the gloom although the girls were completely oblivious of our worry!  Perhaps it's time to have a rule of no unaccompanied children after 1o'clock. 

 

We could still do with some more committee members to help out so if anyone feels the urge please get in touch with either Henry on 01829 782365 or Pat on 01948 860394.

 

HUNTING NEWS

 

This year’s Puppy Show was held on Friday 30th May. The judges were Adrian Dangar (former Master and Huntsman of the Spooners and West Dartmoor, the Sinnington and the Quorn) and Edward Foster (former Master and Huntsman of the Wheatland.)

 

For the first time for a while, the weather was kind to us. A glorious day saw a smaller than usual entry of 11 couple of young hounds. The doghounds were not as level as the bitches although the first three were by three different stallion hounds. The winning dog was Pilgrim who was walked by Mrs. Brunt. He is by the prolific Belvoir Poacher ’98 out of Clarity ’98 who was by Muskerry Claymore ’92. The second dog was Somerset, walked by Mrs. Jennings and by Sadler ’00 out of Pastime ’99. The third dog was Gardon walked by Mrs. Darlington and by Cargo ’99 out of Garnish ’99.

 

The bitches were an altogether more level lot and the judges had some trouble dividing them. They eventually went for Peony first, who was walked by Mrs. Evans. Second was Patience, walked by Mrs. Hanmer and third was Pastry walked by Mrs. Turner. These bitches were all from the same litter, out of Clinic ’00 (herself a Puppy Show winner in 2000) and by Belvoir Poacher ’98. As discussed in this column last year he has not only sired a Peterborough Champion, but, more importantly, he hunts very well and with a strong voice.

 

Also this summer, as well as thinking about the situation in Westminster, we have paraded hounds at The West Mid Show, The Royal Welsh Show and shown hounds at Builth Wells and The Great Yorkshire Show. We won various ribbons in various classes but were most pleased to have achieved a place in the Open Two couple of bitches at the Great Yorkshire. This was against stiff opposition from more fashionable southern modern hounds. To cap it, we did it with two couple of PURE Old English bitches.

 

Anyway trivia over with, we started hunting on Monday 11th August. The month proved dry and warm with a huge amount of undergrowth around this year. Hounds hunted tremendously well despite the conditions. At the time of writing the first half of September has also been extremely enjoyable with some long hard mornings and hounds have just started to catch a few more foxes. So it all looks promising for the season.

 

I would also like to thank Miss Shepherd and Mrs Chantler and to everyone who helped organise the Puppy Show and to Mary Wynn Jones’ team of ladies for the delicious tea. We look forward to seeing you out hunting in the near future.

 

W W

 

THE WYNNSTAY FARMING & WILDLIFE COMPETITION 2002 PRIZE GIVING PARTY

 

The prize giving this year was held at Oteley on a dry evening in May by kind permission of Mr.and Mrs. Robert Mainwaring who won the competition. We had a very interesting farm walk and general discussion on the various options for improving wildlife habitats while at the same time farming fairly intensively.

Sarah Faulkener from Shropshire FWAG who judged the 2002 competition paid warm tribute to some outstanding entries some of whom she said were worthy of  Silver Lapwing Award status which is a national award presented by FWAG. Well done to all competitors.


Sarah praised the efforts of all the competitors with particular praise for the endeavours of the Mainwaring family. Mr John Pickering of Meadow Foods who once again very generously sponsored the event presented the silver salver to Mrs Robert Mainwaring who accepted it on behalf of her family and thanked everyone for making it a very special party. There is still an opportunity for any farm to enter this year's competition which is being judged this September.

Please contact Simon and Alex Martin Tel. 01939 235009.

 

WYNNSTAY BRIDGE

 

Last winter there was a record number of entries in the Hunt Bridge Competition – 82 Couples. It took a long time to complete due to some people being away and we eventually had the finals here at Broad Oak at the beginning of July – no respite for the organizer as it is now time to send out the entry forms for this season!

 

Congratulations to two Market Drayton ladies, Brigid Middleton and Elizabeth Panton, for winning the ‘Cup.’ They narrowly beat Rosemary Griffiths and Sylvia Biagi (from Llandyrnog, North Wales) in the final rubber. In the ‘Plate’ final Robin Rees-Webb and Ann Midwood achieved victory over two local players, Elizabeth and Guy Hanmer.

 

We made over £1,000 and as a result I was able to give £500 to the Hunt and £500 to the Whitchurch Support Branch of the Shrewsbury and Mid-Wales Hospice. I do hope everyone enjoyed playing and do please enter again this year and encourage other bridge players to join in too – simply complete and return the entry form below

 

Diana Warburton-Lee

 

 

Communication Break Down - We Urgently Need Your Help

 

In these turbulent political times it is more important than ever that as many Hunt Supporters as possible can be contacted as quickly as possible. Mobile phones and e-mails have made this much easier but it is no good having either unless we know your number or e-mail address. I have been give the job of updating the Hunt Contact System and need your help.

 

I am currently ringing people for their email addresses and mobile numbers but with not much luck. To save time and money, could you please contact me by phone, fax or email with your details - this would be very much appreciated. 

 

Please be assured that your details will not be divulged to a third party and are for hunt use only.

 

Tessa Clark          tessieclark@hotmail.com    Phone 01948 770205 or fax  01948 770305

 

 

POLITICAL NEWS

 

Following the Readings in the House of Commons earlier in the summer there was a genuine feeling of relief amongst the political staff at Kennington and Countryside Alliance Chairman John Jackson is particularly bullish about the future. Banks, Kauffman, Foster et al appear to have fallen into a trap – largely of their own making – and it could be that the Government actually pushed them into it by capitulating to all their demands for a total ban at the last minute. This is all fearfully complex but several salient points have emerged:-

 

1.         The original ‘limited banning’ Bill would have been far harder to fight in the Lords as the perception of the rights of minorities etc would be more obscure.

 

2.         The Government now have their ‘escape route with no loss of face’ as Tony Blair himself sponsored the bill in its original form – he can now say ‘I gave you your chance, you blew it, we’ve wasted far to much time etc.’

 

3.            Because the backbenchers ambushed the Bill and changed it into a total ban there is considerable confusion as to whether the Bill now qualifies as a Government sponsored Bill [which can invoke the Parliament Act] or, in effect, a Private Members Bill [which cannot.]

 

4.         Banks got very carried away and described the total ban as ‘Totemic’ for the Government. This obscure word dragged from some political philosophy text means ‘the use of a totem (i.e. the House of Commons) as the foundation of a social system of obligation and restriction’ – in simpler terms all minorities must bow to the will of the House of Commons. It was this phrase that absolutely infuriated John Jackson – probably because, being an extremely clever solicitor, he was the only person at the time who understood what it meant. It is highly likely, as the coming constitutional debate develops, that this word will come back to haunt Mr Banks.

 

5.         The Lords and the Parliament Act. Lord Donaldson reacted immediately with a letter to the Times pointing out that if the Government tried to invoke the Parliament Act it would become embroiled in all sorts of murky constitutional issues. It is understood that No 10 is fully aware of this, does not want to fall into this trap and have refused to confirm or deny whether or not the Parliament Act will be invoked. The Police have also vociferously voiced their concerns.

 

After only a few hours of committee to redraft the Bill as a total ban it will shortly be presented to the Lords to be voted upon. Irrespective of whether or not individuals approve or disapprove of the Bill the Lords will take this as a total affront to their powers and their intelligence and will most likely either throw the Bill out or attempt to redraft it – both of which will be unacceptable to Banks et al.

 

This is where things get complicated. The Bill will almost inevitably run out of time in the autumn and will be deemed to have been blocked by the Lords. It would then have to be reintroduced in the Queen’s Speech for the next session in November, go through the House of Commons again and return to the Lords perhaps in early 2004 although this is very much the earliest that it could happen – lots of scope for delay by a dithering Government.

 

If three sessions are required then the earliest date a ban could be imposed is 2005 which means all these constitutional tussles will be occurring in the run up to the next General Election. With so many other demands on Parliamentary time one would hope that someone may use their common sense and quietly shelve the Bill – but then common sense is not exactly a commodity that this Government uses much of.

 

WITH APOLOGIES TO W H DAVIES

 

What is this life – if full of care?

We must get rid of Tony Blair!

No time to stand and let the Bill

Its anti-hunting ban fulfil

 

Stand firm and keep the hunting going

Whip up support and keep it flowing

No time to stand and let it pass

The Hunting Bill is just a farce!

 

Show them that we really care

To say farewell to Tony Blair

And all those anti-fieldsport folk

Whose hunting views they must revoke

 

 Sent anonymously to the Editor but I reckon I recognize the typewriter!

 

***

PONY CLUB NEWS

 

The Summer Holidays seem to get busier every year for the Pony Club and this year we had the added excitement of holding our own One Day Event over a brand new course at Bettisfield Park by the very kind invitation of Guy and Elizabeth Hanmer. It was a great success and much enjoyed by not only all the competitors but helpers and spectators alike who were so impressed with the beautiful surroundings and also the super course designed by Jonathan Clark together with Janet Plant and her team. As was the case at Erbistock in the past the whole event was organized by Jonathan and Sue and we are all enormously grateful to them for all their hard work and support – not only at Bettisfield but in many other instances as well.

 

Junior Camp was only wet for two days this year but the children seem oblivious to the weather, such is their enjoyment of the fun and action packed three days. By contrast we roasted at Senior Camp – by Tuesday we had re-arranged the timetable to curtail the riding in the afternoon for everyone’s sake and thanks to kind invitations from the Midwoods and McAlpines swimming was substituted. All the children said they really enjoyed themselves and also learnt a lot (I hope!) As in the last few years we have been treated to five star catering thanks to Gill Walton ably assisted by Sally Anson for lunch and supper and Sue Clark for breakfast helped by any member of her family available.

 

We again held two Central Rallies at Hadley Farm which seem to be really popular. Our Beginners One Day Event at Hadley was sadly not very well supported although those who did come really enjoyed themselves.

 

Thank you to all those of you who helped at our competitions in any way – we could not manage without you. O)f course Pony Club does not stop when the holidays are over – throughout the year rallies of all sorts are held. Pony Club Meets are probably one of the highlights of the Winter and in the Autumn half term, Riding and Road Safety Tests loom – I can’t wait to spend three days standing on Oswestry Showground being a traffic light!

 

Freda Taylor

 

PRINCE PHILIP CUP NEWS

 

The Sir WWW Pony Club  PPC mounted games teams have had a super year, training started in January right through to the last Pony Club competition on 31st August. T

 

The senior A Team consisting of Meg Jones on Star, Louisa Milburn on Munchkin,  Ella Collison on Annie,  Georgia Corbett on Wellington and Peter Conway on Cuckoo, have won six competitions  -   Cheshire Hunt North, Berwyn and Dee, Sir WWW,  Tanatside, Rockwood and the Area Competition at Hunters Gate, Middlewich. They have come a close second in three -Banwen, Badsworth and Flint and Denbigh. They also represented the pony club at The Royal Welsh Show (4th)  Cheshire Show (5th) and at Weston Park (1st). It certainly has been a very busy year for the children riding at some of the best showgrounds in front of large crowds and we look forward to another successful year in 2004.

 

Also the icing on the cake for Megan after 8 years of doing PPC, was being picked to ride in the winning Welsh PPC team at The Windsor Horse Show in front of Prince Philip. Megan has now ridden her last PPC competition as she will be over the age limit of 15 years next year.

 

The Junior A Team consisting of Gemma Smith on Bruno, Chloe Minshaw on Sparkle, Olivia Corbett on Candy, Katie Young on Spring and (with a little help from Fletcher & Rafe Hallett at the Championships) has also had a considerable amount of success winning quite a few competitions and winning the Warren Trophy at the Pony Club Championships at Sansaw after a nail biting battle with Oakley.

 

We thank the trainers of these two teams Mandy Price and Dawn Smith who have given up their time to help our children gain success.

 

Pam Milburn

 

TETRATHLON NEWS

 

The season kicked off with two members competing at Stockland Lovell in Somerset, these were Oscar Churton and Charlotte Hingley who both acquitted themselves well. Rachel Jones went down to the Berkeley country and won, and also took the spoils at Cheltenham.

 

This was followed by an outing to Warwick were we had lots of Seniors, Juniors and Minis taking part, Rachel Jones, Laura Newton and Oscar Churton were all placed in Seniors, Alyson Mapstone took the Juniors by storm with a score of 4229, and Freddie Lawder was 3rd. Our Mini boys, William Mapstone and Willis Hughes were also both placed, and Kate Mapstone and Zara Churton finished 4th and 5th individually.

 

Then it was on to our Area competition at Somerford, which the Senior girls team won; they were Laura Newton, Rachel Jones, Charlotte Hingley and Laurabeth. Pilkington - qualifying for the Championships at Moreton Morrell, Warwickshire. Nathalie Brodie and Freddie Lawder also qualified as Individuals. We put forward a Junior team of Alyson Mapstone, Nadine Pilkington and Anna Blakebrough, and they also qualified for the Championships, so very well done to them all.

 

The following weekend we travelled down to Monmouth for the Wales and Borders Tetrathlon Championships, the Senior girls Charlotte, Rachel and Laura were 2nd, 3rd and 6th respectively and Oscar was 6th. This was a selection competition and Charlotte and Oscar were both selected for the Wales & Borders teams, and Laura and Rachel were selected as Individuals - a fantastic achievement.

 

This was then followed by the Regionals at Allerton Park in Yorkshire, the Wales & Borders boys team won by a mile and

The girls team were 3rd and Charlotte Hingley was placed 10th individually a tremendous result as the 9 above her were all members of the GB Modem Pentathlon squad. The local fire station brought in water by the tanker load for the horses so the parents had to survive on gin and tonics. A brilliant weekend.

 

The weekend after the Regionals we travelled to Moreton Morrell for the Championships. Our Senior girls team finished 5th team and the Junior girls team also finished 5th, with Skye Higgin as the replacement for Anna who could not take part. Charlotte Hingley and Laurabeth Pilkington both received Bronze awards for their final scores which were over 3900. A  marvellous result.

 

We have now finished for the season, but we are holding a Postal Shooting Competition over the winter months, so please let me know if you would like to come along and have-a-go. This is open to pony club children and their parents, and only costs £5.00 to enter.

 

We have had a tremendously successful season, and have had lots of fun travelling up and down the Country, and look forward to next year as it is an International year with the Australians, Americans, Canadians and the Irish coming here to compete.

 

Helen Dodd

 

SIR. W.W.WYNNS PONY CLUB EVENT SEASON 2003

 

The season was started by sweeping the boards at the prestigious Rebecca Weston Combined Training, where our Pony Club won all the classes individually and in teams. At area dressage in July we were faced with tougher competition as one person who has been selected for the British team was also competing. However the team consisting of Laura-Beth and Nadine Pilkington, Charlotte Williams and Sarah Bransby all performed well but this was not quite good enough! Laura-Beth finished 4th individually. A novice challenge team was also entered (Alyson Mapstone, Camilla Churton and Anna Blakeborough) and were placed.

 

On the 2nd of August Area Horse Trials took place at Somerford Park. Two teams were entered as well as two individuals and the cross-country rode well, but the show jumping proved most difficult with only eight clear rounds on the day. Unfortunately this knocked us down the placings and the older team narrowly beat the younger team with just a 0.4 difference! The Novice challenge had an exciting day and much was learnt but sadly they did not qualify for the championships.

 

Our very own Bettisfield event put up a very strong cross-country which was deemed harder than area! With a mixture of technical and BIG BOLD fences the course was a true test. The Wynnstay gave a good turnout and had a successful day. Thank you to the Clarkes, the Hanmers and Polly for testing the course. Roll on 2004, we can’t wait for the Event season!

 

Laura-Beth and Nadine Pilkington

 

You can tell that Sally Oliver was really paying attention at her daughter Jessica’s Record of Achievement Presentation Ceremony at the Maelor School in May. Scanning down the alphabetical list of members of Jessica’s Form 11SCH she noticed a remarkable coincidence connecting three of the names beginning with ‘W’

 

OLIVER, JESSICA

PARRY‑RALPHS, KATHRYN

PLATT, AARON

REECE, MATTHEW

RICHARDS, STUART

ROBERTS, RACHAEL

SPOOR, STEPHEN

STARKEY, JAYSON

WALSH, DANE

WATKIN, LEANNE

WILLIAMS, GEMMA

WYNN, CARL

YORKE, SARAH

 

SILLY THINGS TO DO WHILST FISHING I

 

Think up names of fishy connected films – for example:-

 

 The Codfather (starring Marlin Brando) - Skate Expectations - A Streetcarp Named Desire - Koi Story - The Huss Whisperer - The Clambusters - The Scarlet Shrimpernel - Pat Gurnard and Billy the Cod - 2001 Plaice Odyssey - Some Pike it Hot - starring Marlin Monroe - Shellies Heroes - Starfish Wars - Where Fish-Eagles Dare - The Kingfisher and I - Dogfish Day Afternoon - There's a Girl in My Fish-Soup - Midsummer's Night Bream - Last Tangle in Paris - Dirty Dacing Kiss Me Skate –  The Outlaw Josey Whales Cockleshell Heroes

 

Then of course there are hymns such as, hopefully, ‘Fight the Good Fight’ or ‘The Dace thou gave us Lord is Landed’ and – it took a lot of whisky to work this one out - ‘Immortal, Invisible Fish Only Wise / In Pools inaccessible, ignoring our flies’

 

***

 

We all know that, nowadays, farmers in the Cheshire Hunt country all buy enormous 4x4s and use them to block up the the lanes whenever we are hunting, but in the 1850’s things were different………..

 

                                                A DAY WI THE CHESHUR FOX DUGS

 

“OULD mon, it's welly milkin toim, where ever 'ee bin ?

Thears slutch upo' thoi coat, oi see, and blood upo thoi chin."

“Oiv bin to see the gentlefolk o' Cheshur roid a run;

Owd wench ! oiv been a hunting, an oiv seen some rattling fun.”

 

“Th' owd mare was i‘ the smithy when the huntsman, he trots through,

Black Bill agate o' 'ammering the last nail in her shoe;

The cover laid so wheam loik, an' so jovial foin the day.,

Says I, ' Owd mare, we'll tak a fling and see 'm go away.”

 

When up, an oi'd got shut ov aw the hackney pads and traps,

'Orse dealers an' 'orse jockey lads, and such loik swaggering chaps,

Then what' a power o' gentlefolk did I set oies upon!

A reining in their hunters, aw blood 'orses every one!

 

“They'd aw got bookskin leathers on, a sitten 'em so toight,

As roind an' plump as turmits be, and just about as whoit;

Their spurs wor made o' siller, and their buttons made o' brass.,

Their coats wor red as carrots an' their collurs green as grass.

 

“A varmint?looking gemman on a woiry tit I seed,

And anither close besoid him, sitting noble on his steed

They ca' them both owd codgers, but as fresh as paint they look,

John Glegg, Esquoir, o' Withington, an' bowd Sir Richard Brooke.

 

“I seed Squoir Geffrey Shakerley, the best 'un o' that breed,

His smiling feace tould plainly how the sport wi’ him agreed;

I seed the 'Arl ov Grovenor, a loiky lad to roid,

I seed a soight worth aw the rest, his farencly young broid.

 

“Zur Umferry de Trafford an' the Squoir ov Arley Haw,

His pocket full o' rigmarole, a rhoiming on 'em aw

Two members for the Cointy, both aloik called Egerton ;

Squoir Henry Brooks and Tummas Brooks, they'd aw green collurs on.

 

“Eh! what a mon be Dixon John, ov Astle Haw, Esquoir,

You wudna foind, and measure him, his marrow in the shoir;

Squoir Wibraham o' the Forest, death and danger he defoies

When his coat be toightly button'd, and shut be both his oies.

 

“The Honerable Lazzles, who from forrin parts be cum,

An a chip o' owd Lord Delamere, the Honerable Tum;

Squoir Fox an' Booth an' Worthington, Squoir Massay an' Squoir Harne,

An many more big sportsmen, but their neames I didna larn.

 

“I seed that great commander in the saddle, Captain Whoite,

An' the pack as thrugg'd about him was indeed a gradely soight;

The dugs looked foin as satin, an' himsel look'd hard as nails,

An' he giv the swells a caution not to roid upo' their tails.

 

“Says he,' Young men o' Monchester an Livverpoo, cum near,

Oiv just a word, a warning word, to whisper in your ear

When, starting from the cuvver soid, ye see bowd Reynard burst,

We canna 'ave no 'unting if the gemmen go it first.'

 

“Tom Rance has got a single oie, wurth many another's two,

He held his cap abuv his yed to show he'd had a view;

Tom's voice was loik th' owd raven's when he skroik'd out 'Tally?ho,'

For when the fox had seen Tom's feace he thought it toim to go.

 

“Eh moy ! a pratty jingle then went ringin through the skoy,

Furst Victory, then Villager begun the merry croy,

Then every maith was open from the oud 'un to the pup,

An' aw the pack together took the swelling chorus up.

 

“Eh moy! a pratty skouver then was kickedup in the vale,

They skimm'd across the running brook, they topp’d the post an' rail,

They didna stop for razzur cop, but play'd at touch 'an go,

An' them as miss'd a footin there lay doubled up below.

 

“I seed the 'ounds a crossing Farmer Flareups boundary loin,

Whose daughter plays the peany an drinks whoit sherry woin,

Gowd rings upon her finger an' silk stockings on her feet

Says I, ' It won't do him no harm to roid across his wheat.'

 

“So, thoightly houdin on by 'th yed, I hits th' owd mare a whop,

Hoo plumps into the middle o' the wheatfield neck an' crop

An' when hoo floinder'd out on it I catch'd another spin,

An', missis, that the cagion o' the blood upo' my chin.

 

“I never oss'd another lep, but kep the lane, an' then

In twenty minutes toim about they turn'd toart me agen;

The fox was foinly daggled, and the tits aw out o' breath,

When they kilt him in the open, an' owd Dobbin seed the death.

 

“Loik dangling of a babby, then the Huntsman hove him up,

The dugs a bayin round him, while the gemman croid ' Whoo?hup!

As do some cawves lick fleetings out o' th' piggin in the shed,

They worried every inch of him, aw but his tail an' yed.

 

“Now, missis, sin the markets be a doing moderate well,

Oiv welly maid my moind up just to buoy a nag mysel;

For to keep a farmer's spirits up, gen things be gettin low,

Theer's nothin loik Fox?huntin an' a rattlin Tally ho!

 

R. E. EGERTON WARBURTON 1853

 

 

 

***

 

“He who deliberates fully before taking a step will spend his entire life on one leg”

 

***

 

A RECIPE SO SIMPLE EVEN A MAN COULD MAKE IT

 

Crusty Beer Bread

 

400 g self-raising or wholemeal flour, 1 tsp sea salt, 2 level tbsp caster sugar, around 325 ml beer or lager

 

Heat oven to 180C / Gas mark 4. Combine the flour salt and sugar in a bowl and add 300 ml of the beer slowly stirring with a wooden spoon until the mixture comes together in a wet and gluggy fashion. If it isn't gluggy add a little more of the beer until it is. Transfer to a well greased 23cm x 10cm log tin and bake for 40 minutes until the top is crusty and golden brown. Remove from the oven and allow to cool for ten minutes before turning out

 

DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT

 

Do not go gentle into that good night,

Old age should burn and rave at close of day;

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

 

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,

Because their words had forked no lightning they

Do not go gentle into that good night.

 

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright

Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

 

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,

And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,

Do not go gentle into that good night.

 

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight

Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

 

And you, my father, there on the sad height,

Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Dylan Thomas

 

 

THE FIELDMASTER

 

“When the last fence grows near, I am ready,

And I hope, when the rails of it crack

There’ll be no one in front but the Master,

The huntsman, the fox and the pack.”

 

Ever since stone age man picked up a piece of charcoal from his fire and drew a description of the day’s hunting on the wall of his cave hunting has provided a feast of material for art and literature. There are books and poems a-plenty about the hunting of hounds with and most of the other aspects of the hunting field - whipping in, earthstopping or advice on riding to hounds but there is one character that is curiously under represented – that of Fieldmaster. In Surtees’ “Mr Sponge’s Sporting Tour” there is the splendid Jack Spraggon, toadie to Lord Scamperdale, Master of the Flat Hat Hunt who at a pinch could be said to be a Fieldmaster, but in reality was ‘his master’s voice’ as Lord Scamperdale felt that as a Peer of the Realm he could could not swear and so urged Jack to sing out on his behalf.

 

On reflection the reason for this lack of literary attention for what is nowadays considered to be one of the key posts in the hunting field is that it is only relatively recently that the job of Fieldmaster has become so onerous. Previously the Fieldmaster’s main preoccupation – as it still is - was to keep the Field from getting in the way of the hounds and huntsman and, generally speaking, this duty was confined to those critical moments when a fox has gone away or when there is a check. In between times it was “every man – or woman – for himself and the devil take the hindmost.”

 

For this is the fundamental aspect of foxhunting – the right of anyone, be they Duke or Dustman, to take their own line; and for those lucky enough to have experienced it there is nothing, absolutely nothing, as exhilarating as being alone with hounds when they are flying. It is the right of anyone who hunts, and whilst the Huntsman or the Fieldmaster may curse when they catch up with you, they are cursing their own luck in not being with you and cannot deny you the right to having been there.

 

In more recent times the duty of Fieldmaster has become much harder. Gone are the pre- war days when the Zetland country was virtually all owned by two land owners. Farmers have to be visited, routes planned. Rather than the majority of the Field hunting two or three days a week – and hence (some of them) knowing their way round – the vast majority can perhaps only put in one day and need a greater degree of shepherding than has previously been the case. With greater amounts of car followers and increasing road traffic the prime duty of the Fieldmaster – to ensure that the Huntsman can hunt his hounds without interference - requires not only the ability to cross the country but also tact, quick thinking and the patience of a saint.

 

Praefectus “Hunting Observations”

 

BECAUSE I LIKED YOU BETTER

 

Because I liked you better

Than suits a man to say,

It irked you, and I promised

To throw the thought away.

  

To put the world between us

We parted, stiff and dry;

"Good‑bye," said you, "forget me."

"I will, no fear," said I.

 

If here, where clover whitens

The dead man's knoll, you pass,

And no tall flower to meet you

Starts in the trefoiled grass,

 

Halt by the headstone naming

The heart no longer stirred,

And say the lad that loved you

Was one that kept his word.

 

A E Housman

 

 

A WYNNSTAY VICTORIAN HUNTING DIARY

 

Before we set off hunting with the Wynnstay in Victorian times the following may be of interest as to how the pack was formed (Hounds purchased) and some of the Huntsmen:

 

In 1843 Sir Watkin purchased the Perthshire Hounds and his first Huntsman was Will Grise who had been First Whip to the Shropshire – he stayed for 3 seasons being replaced by Jack Woodcock for one season. 1848 saw Sir Watkin purchase the Fifeshire Hounds and he brought John Walker back with them as Huntsman. During his 16 seasonswith the Wynnstay he turned down offers from other Hunts including one said to have been worth £500 a year from Lord Suffield to hunt in Leicestershire.

 

In 1863 Sir Watkin paid 390 guineas for 5 couple of hounds from Mr Poljambe’s sale and from this strain the famous stallion hound Royal is descended. He also purchased the best hounds in the sales of Sir Richard Sutton and Messrs Muster and Storey .  By this combination of some of the best blood in England it was said that Sir Watkin succeeded in getting the best class of hound for his country at the time – a low, long hound with great power, good shoulders and plenty of quality. By this time there were 59 couple of hounds in Kennel.

 

Throughout the second half of the 19th century Sir Watkin continued to strengthen his pack , buying the Earl of Ferriers hounds and in 1869 he increased it still further by purchasing half of the late Lord Portsmouth’s celebrated pack, the other half going to the Beaufort. He spared neither trouble nor expense to keep up the traditions of the Kennel, personally defraying the entire expense of running them and he felt himself well rewarded by the excellent sport his hounds produced – some of which is detailed below.

 

Dec 16th 1887 Found in Morral’s Dingles, ran by Erway, on through the Duke’s Woods and Gredington, past Bettisfield and lost close to Bronington – two hours and a nine mile point.

 

Jan 25th 1888 Found Carden Cliff, ran a fast forty minutes, past Handley Gorse and killed.

 

Dec 1st 1888 Found in the Fenns, ran by Blackhoe, through Bubney over Grindley Brook through Tushingham, past Barmere and Hampton and killed at the foot of the Cheshire Hills. One hour and twenty minutes.

 

Dec 27th 1889 Found in Larges ran by Grafton and Castletown past Mrs Leeche’s Gorse to right of Royalty, through Aldersey Park and past Handley, killed at Hatton Hall. One hour and thirty five minutes.

 

Feb 20th 1891 From Crewe Gorse by Grafton etc, exactly the same line as above up to Hatton Hall ran on past Saighton and stopped at dark within two miles of Chester.

 

Nov 16th 1891 From Larges ran past Chorlton and Cherry Hill, through the Wyches, on by Tybroughton and killed close to Iscoyd Church, fifty three minutes.

 

On February 19th 1892 the North Wales Guardian reported as follows:-

 

“There was a goodly muster at Broughton on Friday where we had a couple of very enjoyable runs. The covers around Broughton were empty but from Castletown we started a fox that ran past Shocklach over Grafton Brook and away on for Broughton. A capital gallop to the Wyches now followed and from there our fox headed for the Ghelli and at length went to ground by the Old Hall. We then had a long  trot to Grafton where there was another but he dwelt in cover for a long time and on breaking away crossed the brook and ran for Larges, thence to Chorlton and Overton Scar shortly after making over the high road he took a line for Malpas Station and was rolled over in Edge Park.

 

On Saturday at Ightfield the weather was splendid. Went to Cloverly and finding ran to the back of Corrs then turned to the right and was lost near to Twemlows. Shandford Park was equal to the call and Reynard pointed past the Hall then turned back and made past Millen Heath and away afterwards for the Twemlows and had to be given up on account of the scent failing. WE now got more into our own country and found our fox at the Stych. Directly he left the cover our fox raised for Shavington, crossed the road and took a line for Moreton Say, then to the right and back for Clocersey, straight away to Sandford and was there left. Our last visit was to Brown Moss where there were a brace of foxes. One part of the pack went towards the Twemlows and the other made for Ash, the latter fox getting to ground at the back of Mr Nields of Ash Parva. He was dug out and hounds made a meal of him.

 

The Trotting Mare was the rendezvous on Monday when the weather turned out to be of the most wretched kind. Snow began to fall soon after nine o’clock and continued during the greater part of the day and it was accompanied by a very cold and boisterous wind; it was neither comfortable for man nor beast. As might be supposed the field was only a small one. No’business’ whatsoever was done and after the first draw – which was unsuccessful – the snow became of such a blinding character that Sir Watkin Williams Wynn very wisely ordered hounds home and it was well he did so as the weather did not improve for the best.”

 

On Display in Wrexham Museum, Regent Street Wrexham, is a commemorative Stirrup Cup made out of a Foxes Mask with the inscription:-

 

Cyflwynydd I

Faer a Chorfforaeth

Bwrdeistref Gwrecsam gan

John Hurleston Leche, Carden Park

Sir Gaerlleon er adgoffa

Dyrchweliad buddigoliaethus

Syr Watkin er Senedd y Saithfed

Waith fel un o aelodau

Sir Ddinbych Tach 27ain 1868

Mwy frif

Uwch law Morgan 635

Uwch law Biddulph 923

 

This roughly translates to: “Presented to the Mayor & Corporation of the Borough of Wrexham by John Hurleston Leche of Carden Park, Cheshire to mark the glorious return of Sir Watkin to Parliament as one of the Members for Denbighshire for the seventh time. November 27th 1868. He beat Morgan by 635 votes and Biddulph by 923

 

J A WRIGHT

 

I am extremely grateful to John Wright for continuing to contribute his historical findings – he is in fact researching Victorian Game Keepers in North Wales but – luckily for us – seems easily led astray when the word ‘Wynnstay’ crops up!

 

 

THE HUNT SUPPORTERS CLUB

 

Patron: Sir Watkin Williams-Wynn, Bt.                     President: Mrs D.W. Hutchinson Smith

 

Vice Presidents: A.R. Hewitt Esq.; J Chantler Esq.; P. Robinson Esq.; Mrs G. Lea, J.P.;

Mrs J. Taylor; J.C. Barnett Esq. Mrs J. Chantler.

 

Chairman:             Mrs G Hanmer 01948 710 634

 

Hon. Secretary:             Mrs C Percival 01829 782 585

 

Treasurer:             P Lawrence Esq.

 

Editor of Cry:             David Higham, Rose Farm, Coddington, Tattenhall, Chester CH3 9EN

01829 782 420 david@higham.taurusuk.net

 

Area I (Wrexham)

 

Chairman: Mrs B Jones 01978 780 870

 

Secretary: Mrs Deborah Paul, Kilgreen, Iscoyd, Whitchurch, Shropshire SY13 3AU 01948 780 642

 

Area II (Whitchurch)

 

Chairman: S.N.R. Brunt Esq. 01948 710 678

 

Secretary: Mrs S Martin, Lyneal Wood Farm, Lyneal, Ellesmere, Shropshire SY12 0LE

01939 233 227

 

Area III (Malpas)

 

Chairman:  Mr H Tomlinson 01829 782 365

 

Secretary: Mrs Pat Adams, Greenfield Farm, Bradley Green, Whitchurch, Shropshire

01948 860 394

 

SIR W W WYNN'S HUNT ADVICE TO HUNT FOLLOWERS - DO'S & DONT'S

 It is important that those who ride to Hounds remember that they only ride across country with the permission of farmers and landowners. Behaviour on public roads by riders and car followers affects the general public's image of hunting. Please remember that the Hunt's reputation is dependent on your behaviour. Some do's and dont’s are listed below.

 

DO

1.     Bring the correct money or voucher with you.

2.    Be courteous to others ‑ especially those on their feet or in cars.

3.    Help road users when riding on the road.

4.    Thank people who open or shut gates for you.

5.    Speak politely to farmers and farm workers.

6.    Report any damage (you cause) to fences to the Masters or wire area manager.

7.    Shut gates or make sure that those following you do.

8.     If there is any likelihood of your horse kicking, place a red ribbon on its tail and keep out of the way.

9.    Thank the Masters and Hunt Staff for your day's hunting.

10.    Learn who owns or farms the country where you hunt.

11.    Turn your horse’s hindquarters away from the hounds when they pass close to you.

12.    If sent on point duty conceal yourself where you can see, but not in such a position as to turn the fox.

13.    When on point duty return to the mounted field once your task is completed.

14.    Avoid stampeding cattle and sheep, give them plenty of room.

15.    Ride home on the minor roads where possible and not across country or on the main roads.

16.    Where possible avoid farm yards.

17.    When requested to keep into the side of a field make sure you do.

18.    Help others in trouble.

DON'T

1.     Come out hunting for the first time without paying your subscription or communicating with the Secretary.

2.    Hold up road traffic unnecessarily.

3.    Ride on lawns or mown grass on the road side.

4.    Ride on arable crops or young grass unless following the Field Master.

5.    Gallop unnecessarily ‑ especially when hounds are not running.

6.    Jump when hounds are not running unless led by the Field Master.

    7.    Ride in front of the Field Master unless hounds are hunting hard and you know that the mounted field is allowed

8.    Ride home across country without permission.

9.    Come out hunting on a dangerous horse.

10.    Ride on top of hounds or Hunt Staff.

11.    Park your horse box or trailer where it might inconvenience farmers, road users or the Hunt.

12.    Push or cut in when queuing for a gate or jump.

13.    Ride home with a hound.

14.    React to aggression from Antis.

15.    Make repeated attempts to jump a fence.

16.    Holloa until the fox has passed you.

17.    Gallop away from a slippery bridge until the next person has crossed.

18.    Ride through farm yards at such a pace as to frighten housed animals.

 

'ARE WE NEARLY THERE?'

 

"Marvellous, marvellous" said Harv as we sat shivering on the top of a windswept dune somewhere in the Sahara. "I would like to point out that this was your idea Colonel". "No it wasn't, I might have always wanted to pretend to be Lawrence of Arabia, but you made the arrangements". "No  didn't, you found Tidene Expeditions and look where we are now!" This seemingly light hearted conversation took place on the second evening of Harv's and my expedition to trek with camels unsupported in the desert in the north of Niger. We were cold, disorientated and decidedly apprehensive.

 

In retrospect the main problem was communication or lack of it. Our two camel men (Mehariste) spoke only Tamashek, which is not common parlance in the Wynnstay country, nor come to think of it anywhere else than in the depths of the Sahara; and an excellent Touareg cook who spoke very bad French with what sounded like a strong Glaswegian accent. All we knew for certain was we did not know where we were in the vastness, the Touareg had a reputation for cutting travellers’ throats and we were desperately cold.

 

The whole thing started a year before when I met Robin Hanbury-Tennison walking to London and he said if I wanted to be Lawrence of Arabia I should contact this very nice lady in Paris. She then arranged for us to go with the Touareg run company Tidene Expeditions who organised everything in Niger. We started with a death defying 900 Km non-stop drive from Niamey, the capital, to Agadez a desert town famous for silver crosses and sand. The Peugeot 505 taxi and owner/driver did this trip twice a week for six months every year. No gauges on the vehicle but thank God good tyres. From Agadez we drove two days through the sand in a Land Cruiser driven by our head guide, a superbly arrogant and elegant Touareg. On our second night we were sleeping soundly and peacefully at an oasis when we were woken by a strong and pungent smell. Our camel transport had arrived with our Meharistes, Abdou and Wada and 6 camels.

 

Loading the camels next morning was a wonderful introduction to how life in the desert has worked for the last 1000 years. It took two hours to load that first time. Everything was tied to a wooden frame and since there was no girth the balance had to be perfect. Each of the four pack camels carried about 3 cwts and the two riding camels had insubstantial Touareg saddles. At least 90% of the load was water, food, bedding and luggage for us. The camel men and cook had no equipment except for a blanket and a small sack of maize. They drank a mug of water each day while we drank a gallon.

 

The first day was easy, 10 miles, 3 of which we rode the camels and had good firm sand to walk on. We were being tested. The second day was 24 miles, 4 on camels, mostly across an endless gravel plain, which stretched to the distant horizon. As it got dark we were tired and the enormity of what we had taken on coupled with the lack of communication caused our severe apprehension an hour later.

 

As always the next morning everything looked a lot better. Although it was bitterly cold, we were still alive, our sleeping bags had kept out the sand and wind, and we still had six camels and plenty of water. After that profoundly character building night the days took on a timeless pattern. Breakfast at dawn and try to keep warm in a temperature of 2 degrees centigrade, while the camels were loaded. Walk and ride for 4 hours then rest under a very occasional acacia tree while the temperature was 35 degrees centigrade plus. Walk and ride again for 4/5 hours then stop for the night. No tents just sleeping bags on a mattress comprised the camp, which was always sited with total disregard for our comfort. It is a little known fact that camels can go for at least two weeks with no water, but only twenty-four hours with no food. We did not carry camel fodder so every night we had to stop in the rare areas where desert grass grew. Of course it always grew on the top of exposed windswept dunes.

 

In two weeks Harv and I achieved most things we set out to do. We saw 10,000 year-old rock paintings, pretended we were Lawrence of Arabia and learnt the desert was about water, space, silence and survival. We also learnt 10 words of Tafflashek and how to speak French with a Glaswegian accent.

 

An extract from the diary kept by David Brooks during the 2 ½ week journey.

 

SIR W. W. WYNN'S HUNT

                                               

THE ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING

will be held at

CHORLTON VILLAGE HALL on THURSDAY, 9th OCTOBER, 2003, at 7.30 p.m.

 

AGENDA

 

1.          Apologies for absence.

 

2.       Minutes of previous meeting and matters arising.

 

3.       To fill four vacancies on the Hunt Committee.

 

4.       To receive and consider the Annual Report and Accounts.

 

5.       To receive a report from the Masters and Committee on current events.

 

6.       Any other business.

 

Nominations to fill vacancies on the Hunt Committee should be sent to reach me not later than Saturday, 4th October. There are four vacancies to be filled. A list of the Committee can be found in the Annual Report.

 

Members, Subscribers, Landowners, Covert Owners and Farmers within the boundaries of the Hunt are entitled to attend and vote. Hunt Supporters may attend.

 

N. M. SHEPHERD, Joint Hon. Secretary

STABLE COTTAGE CHORLTON HALL MALPAS SY14 7ET Telephone:  01948 860589                                                                        

 

 

SAM'S PUDDEN

 

It was Christmas Day in the trenches

In Spain in t'Peninsular War,

And Sam Small were cleaning his musket

A thing as he'd ne'er done before.

 

They'd had 'em inspected that morning

And Sam had got into disgrace,

For when t'Sergeant had looked down t'barrel

A sparrow flew out in his face.

 

The sergeant reported the matter

To Lieutenant Bird then and there.

Said t'Lieutenant "How very disgusting

The Duke must be told of this 'ere."

 

The Duke were upset when he heard it.

He said, "I'm astonished, I am"

I must make a most drastic example:

There'll be no Christmas pudding for Sam."

 

When Sam were informed of 'is sentence

Surprise rooted 'im to the spot.

'Twas much worse than he had expected,

He thought as he'd only be shot.

 

And so he sat cleaning 'is musket

And polishing t'barrel and butt.

While the pudding his mother had sent him,

Lay there on t'grass at 'is foot.

 

Now the front line that Sam's lot were holding

Ran all round a town: Badajoz.

Where the Frenchies 'ad put up a bastion

And ooh... what a bastion it was.

 

They pounded away all the morning

With canister, grapeshot and ball.

But the face of the bastion defied 'em,

They made no impression at all.

 

They started again after dinner

Bombarding as hard as they could.

And the Duke brought his own private cannon

But that weren't a ha'pence o' good.

 

The Duke said, "Sam, put down thy musket

And help me lay this gun real true."

Sam answered, "You'd best ask your favours

From them as you give pudding to."

 

The Duke looked at Sam so reproachful

"And don't take it that way," said he.

"Us Generals have got to be ruthless

It hurts me more than it did thee."

 

Sam sniffed at these words kind of skeptic,

Then looked down the Duke's private gun.

And said "We'd best put in two charges,

We'll never bust bastion with one."

 

He tipped t'cannonball out of t'muzzle

He took out the wadding and all.

He filled t'barrel chock full o' powder,

Then picked up and put back the ball.

 

He took a good aim at the bastion

Then said "Right-o, Duke, let her fly."

The cannon nigh jumped off its trunnions,

And up went the bastion, sky high.

 

The Duke, he weren't 'alf elated

He danced around t'trench full o' glee.

And said, "Sam, for this gallant action

You can hot up your pudding for tea.'

 

Sam looked 'round to pick up his pudding

But it weren't there - nowhere about.

In t'place where he thought he had left it,

Lay the cannonball he'd just tipped out.

 

Sam saw in a flash what'd happened:

By an unprecedented mishap

The pudding his mother had sent him

Had blown Badajoz off t'map.

 

That's why Grenadiers wear to this moment

A badge which they think's a grenade.

But they're wrong... it's a brass reproduction

Of the pudding Sam's mother once made

MARRIOTT EDGAR